Once upon a time, there was a lovely girl named Kim. She dreamt her whole life of being a damsel in distress. Every dream ended with her white knight rescuing her from the calamity.
One ordinary day, she woke up. She felt perfectly chipper and went about her daily duties. She then journeyed to her academy for her first course of the day. It was her Health lesson, a class that she dearly enjoyed. Alas, her interest decreased alarmingly when she found out that the subject matter being discussed was... contraceptives! She was horrified at what she learnt (that's all you need to know).
One might say that Kim shouldn't have stayed, but she was studious and desired to pass the exam. She became decidedly feather-brained (light-headed) while listening to her professor. She tried to still trudge along with note-taking and put her head down on her desk when she had the chance. Alas the day! It became too much for her, and she... FAINTED.
The next thing she knew the professor was in front of her, and Kim was rushed out the door. She spent time in the headmaster's office until the king's knight (security guard) escorted her to the school infirmary. She spent the morning there in an swoony haze. The healer asked her all sorts of questions like: "Did you sleep?"; "Did you eat?"; "Are you diabetic?"; "Has this happened before?"; "Is George visiting?"(Are you on your period?); "Are you stressed?" To which she replied: "Yes."; "Yes."; "No."; "No."; "Yes." "YES!" The healer told her that her blood pressure is normally low and that it just dropped too low. She was informed that it was probably a one time thing that was influenced by the factors of George, stress, low blood pressure, and contraceptives. She rested for the rest of the day and got excused from a physics test.
Thankfully, our heroine recovered, but, alas, she mourned the fact that she thought of no one romantically in her health class, so there was no knight. She wished it had been in her Understanding Literature class because then.... Let's just say it would've been an entirely different story.
The moral of this story is contraceptives are gross!
"Faint heart never won fair lady!"- W. S. Gilbert
P.S. Truly, this is a true story of truthfulness and truth.