Two minutes and thirty-four seconds of pure genius

This is the story of a video clip.

You know how people are always saying, "Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!!!"
Or they stamp things with this spiffy, little logo.


Well, I'm not going to give you money or two minutes and thirty-four seconds back, but I am going to use the spiffy logo to tell you that you will be satisfied!! Don't believe me? Take a word from a sponsor.

Sponsor: Hi.

Now that's satisfaction!

Warning: Prolonged, hysterical laughter may come as a result of this video. If you have trouble breathing while laughing, you may want to consult a doctor before indulging in this brilliance. Make sure you are not watching this video while people are sleeping, for the sound of your pure joy may disturb them...

It's All That We've Got It's All That We Can Give...

Imagine Dragons has posted some new songs on their myspace that you NEED to listen to. Click here for the link. Post comments on what you think of the new songs. Also they're coming on April 9th to Club Velour. I should be coming down, so CONCERT PARTAY!!

P.S. Taking minutes at a meeting is not nearly as appealing clerical as it sounds...

Caution Door?

Question of utmost importance: does anyone else read these signs as Automatic Caution Door rather than Caution: Automatic Door? If so, do you then wonder: What exactly is a Caution Door!?!

Blood and Nonsense

Lone

One leech by a clotting stream

thin and dying

s

t

r

e

t

c

h

e

d

on a

veinless weed

throbbing for blood while the bloated water

inches along.

Calamazoo

Calamazooians chortle and gack.

They swing

with the blade

of my elbowing toe.

Crystal plummets

in a firefly glow,

sweeping the threads of the sword in the foot.

Yaw!

Follow the charge to the magma

depths.

Hail to Calamazoo!

Bring

t

u

m

b

l

i

n

g

tales of potato-chopped trees.

Steel bites in my heel, and

they sing to the stone.